Love and All is Coming
Watching the duo - Jerry and Dorothy conceptualise and organise the recent Love Pazaar was quite a ‘treat’ to many of us. The duality of love, both in the giving and the receiving, was often times clearly demonstrated in how they supported each other. This piece articulates the origin of where the idea of love was first ‘caught’ and their views of how the outcome of love should be in the constant defining and practicing of of it.
What is the love you had come to know of when you were younger?
Jerry: Mine, like in most childhoods, is one that's recognised by the family — parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles. At this point in our lives, that's all we knew.
I grew up without a dad — he died when I was four, so the only parental love I got was from my mom. And being the lone female head of the house, love came in many forms: both hard and soft...but mostly hard. Now that I look back, it wasn't easy for her, at all. And ironically, in the making of this Love Pazaar, I actually spent less time with my family and they felt unloved. Perhaps this Love Pazaar was here to show me how much I don't practise enough love with my family.
Dorothy: I remember the love in my childhood to be like a landscape painted with different colours. Warm comfortable maroon when my dad shielded me from the huge rain. Wet shoes, cold skin, loud thunder, all shivering. But I wasn’t scared, not because of the umbrella, but his love.
My dad played the warm colours, and my mum, a mix of cool and warm. The cool colours my mum played were actually real cool. She showed me how many things are possible and I can do them. Even things as simple as how to make a sponge all bubbly.
One thing apparent to me since young was the lighthearted love my parents shared with each other. They play, they laugh, they kiss, and when they quarrel and tell me that it's fun. Love is cute. When all is light and easy. But when fear and anger come along, the black appeared. Splashes of black paint only cover the colours that were once pleasing. And here’s when love proves itself to be enduring. The black can’t stay long, it gets washed away again after some time.
What do you think love can mean as a practical ‘public good’ in our society today- especially in relation to justice, power etc?
Jerry: Just like power and justice itself, love is an intangible concept that can only be practised. We can't really say or define what love exactly is, but we sort of know what it entails. We all want it. In fact, I would say we all need it. It is who we are and what we are here on this Earth for — be it love for a person, a cause, an idea, a country, and even yourself. It is the raw, unadulterated feeling of pure instinct of what's good for the world and I believe if everyone is more in tuned with love, that is, being so consciously aware of ourselves and the intentions behind our actions, the world can only be made better.
Which of the activities created for Love Pazaar was particularly most meaningful for you?
Jerry: I think Mirror mirror is the most meaningful to me. Much of my life have been characterised by the things I tell myself in my head. The way we talk to ourselves literally changes the world and how we experience it. The world can be the exact same place but if the only thing that is different is the thing you tell yourself everyday, that change in you allows you to step into a world that also changes as you move through it. In a way, we create the world we live through the stories we tell ourselves, so examining what we say is crucial in understanding how we live. A better relationship with yourself can only mean a better relationship for everything around you.
Dorothy: For me it is the Conversation café.
Giving space for deeper connection is always something we love to do, and learn to do better. Seeing friends coming together knowing each other just a little more, especially my hitch driver and her fiance, it was especially touching.
Take defining and practicing love as the outcome. The means to it is actually giving the space to connect again. With oneself, or with another.
What’s next for you now after the revelations from Pazaar?
We are thinking of bringing this to a different location so that we can reach out to a different audience. Hopefully, with the experience we had, we’d be able to personalise the engagements better!
Drop us a note if you are keen for them to share Love Pazaar at your space!