’Why we work to solve the problems of today’: How Two Youths Keep Their Hopes Alive
written by Chang Huey Yin
“When you sent me the questions, my mind just blanked out,” Dexter commented.
“I know right!” Haiza exclaimed in agreement.
Armed with our iced milos and iced lemon tea at Encik Tan, I sat down with two youths, Dexter and Haiza, from the current Youth Advisory Group (YAG), to understand how their past one year journeying with the YAG has been. Dexter and Haiza are 2 out of the 12 YAG team members, appointed by a national committee to provide youth perspectives on the prevention, rehabilitation and recidivism when it comes to youth offending.
Despite their claims of difficulties recalling the details of their experience, they had much to share.
YAG members on Triad Trail
Stories that Connect Us
As they patiently brought me through their experience of eliciting gaps and opportunities through learning about the youth-at-risk landscape and one another’s stories, I wondered what their own stories and turning points were.
Dexter, who was a first-time drug offender, is currently an active volunteer with Architects of Life. His experiences and observations shaped his hope for stronger support for youths-at-risks. Referring to his younger self endearingly by his Chinese name and the strong support surrounding him now, “If Wei Ming had these organisations believing in him, things would have come out very differently,” he reflected.
Pat pat from Lunar, Dexter’s mentor from Architects of Life
His turning point was when 24-year-old Dexter, still with his probation anklet then, stood in front of a group of strangers during a youth convention to share his Story of Self – a tool that Bold At Work uses to help individuals explore the values driving their purpose.
Life came a full circle with Dexter sharing during the Story of Self session in YAG
“You put your heart on your shoulder for a bunch of strangers to see, for them to assess you.”
As intimidating as that sounds, he described the experience to be one of cathartic relief. "Now people know who I am,” he explained. In retrospect, he believes that the odds of him returning to offending would have been higher without this experience of simply being seen by this audience and “(feeling) connected to the community again”. He remembers being told that he was bold and courageous. Words he had never associated himself with.
And he continues to share his story!
On the other hand, Haiza is an experienced volunteer-mentor with Mendaki. Growing up, she recognised her privilege of being surrounded with supportive family and friends, and hopes to create the same supportive network and opportunities for others.
Supporting one another in Mendaki!
It was her family and friends who stood by her at her lowest point. Currently a Psychology major, she was previously enrolled in Engineering. Being in a course she did not enjoy culminated in her feeling like she lost control and she stopped doing the things she loved, including volunteering. Haiza eventually spoke to friends about it and her friends encouraged her to withdraw from the university course.
Haiza and friends by her side
You would think, “my parents are going to kill me right?”
We laughed. We all knew how, to withdraw from one’s university course, would be frowned upon as veering from the orthodox path of earning an academic qualification in whichever course you were enrolled in, and getting on the fastest track to find a related job.
Thankfully, Haiza’s parents were supportive…unlike her eyelash extension! She recalled vividly how her eyelash extension fell out while she was crying as she spoke to her parent
Haiza and her super supportive and cute family
“I didn’t realise you had a similar journey as well”, Dexter commented, hearing about Haiza’s turning point for the first time during the interview. He too, has recently withdrawn from a software engineering course from ITE after much contemplation, to create more space to pursue his work with youths.
“Like Suicide Squad”
This term, the YAG members took on the challenge of forming project groups to identify issues and trends, design and develop relevant projects from the youth angle. Haiza’s group conducted a focus group to gather feedback on the current youth probation programme, while Dexter’s group developed a human library programme for lower secondary school students to encourage them to stay in school..
Dexter likened the YAG team to Suicide Squad, consisting of individuals from different backgrounds and phases of life, united by a common goal. The diversity allowed for members to learn from one another and it was the experience of listening to one another’s stories and realising how different everybody’s life has been, that stood out for Haiza.
When asked what was most challenging through this journey the past year, Haiza replied without hesitation. “Finding time.” Dexter laughed, probably in agreement. “Sometimes I was joining the zoom calls while I was walking from the MRT… but it was important that we were on the same page,” Haiza recalled.
Haiza’s project team in YAG
There was no doubt the team was committed to the work. It was a first for Dexter, to be in a team that fully showed up or as he described, “They just tuned out the world, 100% there, focused on the process”.
Hearing the hard work put into ideating, identifying stakeholders and executing the projects, I could not help but wonder where do these people find the energy? Yet, their enthusiasm shined through and I realised it was precisely because Haiza and Dexter were working on causes and projects that energised them. Despite the differences in their background and experiences, they shared similar ups and downs in their journey of figuring out what they enjoyed and felt passionate about.
Be Bold Be You
For me, it was energising to hear other youths’ bold journeys the past year and in this phase of their lives.
In this phase of Haunted by Ambitions – literally because he was haunted and kept awake at night by his desire to contribute more to the youth landscape – Be Bold Be You for Dexter meant “taking brave decisions”, be it moving out of his parents’ flat to live independently or withdrawing from his ITE course. The last time he had moved out of his parents’ flat and withdrew from school in his younger days, saw him spiral into a dark phase in his life.
“But I am surrounding myself with therapy and volunteer organisations now,” Dexter shared, determined for it to be different this time. For the first time, he has also started writing on his own medium page to share his thoughts in his interest areas of technology and personal mastery.
Quote representing Haunted by Ambitions for Dexter
For Haiza, Be Bold Be You is “being intentional about the things (she) does” in her Roaring Twenties — a phase in which she is happy with where she is in her life and describes it as an optimal point. Acknowledging that the Roaring Twenties preceded The Great Depression, she is well aware that change will happen. “Change is the reason why I feel like I am thriving right now,” she reflected.
Haiza sharing her Story of Self in a ministry meeting – just Roaring Twenties things
While they appear put together, eloquent and have contributed in ministry-level meetings as YAG members, they were candid about the ups and downs of their journeys and acknowledged that they do not yet have answers to some of their own questions. What does it mean to be an advocate? Why do we want to do good? As we finished our cups of iced milo and iced lemon tea, it was the end of our conversation but not the end of our journeys of discovery.
Speaking to Haiza and Dexter brought me hope. Sometimes I notice myself becoming cynical about social impact work. Aiya, how much change can this really make? It can be hard to keep our hearts open and make space for hope. Maybe, doing good is really the embodiment that our hopes are alive — rooted in the belief that we can move generatively, to create a different tomorrow.
As Dexter shared, the wish is that “our children will not inherit the problems of yesterday”, especially with the trend of intergenerational issues such as youth offending and chronic poverty. “They should only inherit the good stuff… like property,” we joked. This is why we work to solve the problems of today.