Winning In Life
Written by: Chang Huey Yin
“I knew it! That’s the first question!” JJ exclaimed when I asked him what be bold be you meant to him. He had a short but succinct answer -- “to do what I want that makes me happy”.
Sports played a huge part in his schooling years. “I’m a very active person. I cannot stand sitting down for a long time,” he explained. “Sports is just something that I loved to excel in, to train hard in, to do my best. Not like… studies.”
In a long and bold journey to find a sport that suited him, JJ dabbled in an array of sports including badminton, soccer, basketball and frisbee. It was not until he watched The Unbeatable, a 2013 drama-film, did he find the sport for him -- Muay Thai.
JJ dabbled in many sports, including Muay Thai.
JJ’s schooling years looked different from his three older siblings who were outstanding academically – for example, his older brother was always amongst the top three in class. JJ recounted how he was twentieth in class in Secondary One and playfully reported to his father that he was “number two… plus zero”.
His parents never compared the siblings based on their academic accomplishments. They did however expect one thing from all their children – to not harm others.
Nonetheless, come Secondary 4, the boy who went to tuition “to talk to [his] friends, buy tidbits and have fun”, had a turning point. He was second last in class at the beginning of the year, but by his preliminary examinations, he topped his class. He went on to attain outstanding results in polytechnic and was second in his cohort. Today, the 23 year old is a freshman at National University of Singapore.
Lest you were thinking of something too dramatic, it was his older sister’s simple but wise life advice to him – “pretty girls like smart boys”.
JJ and friends, with their outstanding results.
Though I laughed and admitted how “pretty girls like smart boys” can be a huge motivation for a teenage boy, it was also evident that JJ did not work hard just to impress “pretty girls”. Seeing his parents work hard as hawkers selling drinks, he told himself, “They walk that few steps just to [serve a cup of coffee and earn] 80 cents. Why are you wasting their money? They are paying for your education, do something good.”
JJ worked hard in National Service and was company's best and OCS wing’s best.
Growing up as a “hawker child” also taught JJ a key principle he lives by – to help others without expecting anything in return. He saw his father take on the role as Vice Chairman of the committee at Hong Lim Market and Food Centre and helped others without asking for anything in return.
“I just wanna help! The satisfaction you get from helping is… I love it!”
It wasn’t the fact that JJ has helped many people that stood out to me. Rather, it was his infectious enthusiasm to help without expecting anything in return that left the biggest impression.
Fuelled by his love for Muay Thai and to help others, he wanted to help others find their confidence through Muay Thai and he became a Muay Thai coach.
JJ wants to be the instructor who pays attention and gives constructive feedback to each of his students -- just like how his instructors were to him.
Although he appeared unapologetically himself, his biggest challenge in being bold being you is people’s judgement. He recalled how many called him a “jack of all trades, master of none” for trying so many sports and doubted his commitment to Muay Thai. Fortunately, his positive mindset allowed him to quickly move on when he realised that what others perceives of him does not affect him.
“Why not take the easy way? Do what you love, be who you are,” he shared. “If you are doing things for people to be happy, you are not happy and secondly, it’s not confirmed that people will like you. So, you are losing. But if you do something that you are happy, you are winning. And if people like you for who you are, it’s a bonus!”
Nevertheless, JJ believes in learning from others by “[taking] the best from everyone and [making] it [his] style”. One of his biggest idols is Mark Lee, a successful host and businessman despite many teasing him for his “mo peng face” (Hokkien dialect for a pockmarked face).
I am convinced that JJ is winning -- or even hitting jackpot -- because of his bold philosophy in life to do what makes him happy. Indeed, he has a reputation among his friends for loving to help and many of his coaching stints came from others’ recommendations of him because of that.
Even through our brief interaction, his sincerity shined through the back-and-forth thank yous, repeated reassurances that he would help wherever he could and actually supporting us with every single one of our requests. It was a humbling reminder for me, to have the right intentions, be present and enjoy life -- or in JJ’s words, “you will never know what will happen tomorrow, just be happy!”