Accepting the Loss of a Dream Job
Written by Nurul Nabilah, YouthTech Trainee
If Natasha were to introduce herself, the gist you would get from it is that she really enjoys reading and creating content. At least, that was the thought that entered my mind as I asked her to describe herself for Bold’s audience. As she talked about her experience of writing book reviews to producing videos, I could sense the passion that she has for capturing others’ attention and starting conversations through her works.
In a way, that was how her bookstagram account was born. From posting her opinions on books on the platform of Goodreads and her personal Instagram account where she felt that her followers would not have much appreciation for them, she ventured into the community of other Instagrammers that shared her interest. That was 4 years ago now, and her platform has only grown.
You would think that it was her dream from the start, but you would be surprised that it was not what she had initially envisioned for herself.
Natasha had different dreams growing up. They changed as she went from one interest to the next, such as Malay dance and softball. When she entered tertiary school, her passion for travelling and learning about other cultures drove her to pursue a diploma in hospitality in the hopes of working in the tourism industry.
While pursuing her diploma, her dream changed yet again. This time, it was because she came to realise that she loved writing and creating digital content. Upon graduating, she took a double degree in mass communication and public relations. In her mind, getting the degree would enable her to pursue her interest in content creation. At the same time, she had rediscovered her love for books and became adamant that she wanted to work in a publishing company.
For years, she had her eyes set on a particular publishing company. She did not rule out other companies, but this was her dream job, the ultimate destination. Needless to say, when she got through to the second interview, she was ecstatic. While she had enjoyed networking and freelancing as a book critic, she felt that getting the job would finally mean that she would be on the same page as her family members, who were all working in the corporate world. After all, through them, she had learnt to associate the corporate world with stability and security in life.
“When I got to the second interview, even though I realised that the pay was lower than what I got for my previous jobs, and I would have to give up my freelancing gig, I didn’t want to think about it. I was only going to think about getting my dream job.”
Yet, on her first day of work, she was greatly disappointed to discover that she could not get used to the routine-based tasks and rigid environment in the corporate world. Where she was able to express her creativity when employed in small and medium-sized enterprises previously, being in the corporate world felt restrictive. Instead of getting to work on building the company’s social media presence as was on the job description, she was tasked to enter line after line of data at her work desk. All day long, she did that and replied to emails. Ideas that she threw out with regards to the position that she was hired for were not entertained.
That was the triggering moment where Natasha realised that her “dream job” was not a dream job after all. She stopped enjoying going to work after that. “It felt like I was just a robot, doing the work and going home. There was nothing interesting, no great feeling of “I created this!” Everything felt so stagnant.”
Her parents soon took notice of the change in her. They sat her down and it all came unraveling.
For Natasha, her family members are her biggest supporters. As such, after being assured that it was okay for her not to stay at the job, she sent in a resignation letter the next day. Despite being scared of disappointing everyone around her at first, according to her, “it was like a heavy load lifted off my shoulders”.
In a way, Natasha learnt the lesson that there are different dimensions to a dream job. Being able to work in a huge publishing company may have been her dream, but she has now taken into account the huge role that work culture and environment play in determining the suitability of a job for an individual. “For myself, I don’t like following rules and routines. I like things that are spontaneous and always-changing. So, even though I was in my dream sector, I felt that I was restricted due to the corporate work culture.”
What I noticed throughout Natasha’s recount was that her dominant emotion was not one of disappointment at realising that her dream job was not meant to be. Rather, the animated way in which she described how she is now being able to showcase her creative side, in her position as a Digital Designing and Marketing trainee at Bold, was a dead giveaway that she is beyond relieved to have left that phase of her life behind.
At first, in doing this interview, I felt like I would be intruding on Natasha’s unfortunate experience, especially since it was a recent occurrence. However, I soon found out there was a lot to learn from this experience.
Firstly, I learnt that doing what makes you happy is worth more than the materialistic things that you could gain from following the “safer” route in life.
Secondly, seeing how she bounced back as positive as ever, and ready to take on new tasks, it truly serves as a reminder that not all setbacks are there to bring you down. After all, the setback is only that. A setback. You can always choose to view it in an optimistic way and use it to your advantage.
A word of wisdom to take away? Make any setback your motivation so that you will emerge stronger at the end of the battle.
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